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Ella's Room
Topic Started: Sep 6 2009, 06:21 PM (1,194 Views)
Ella Morvanna
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"What does it matter if it's not normal for you? There isn't some set rule last I checked of being you that you have to apparently follow."

Just getting through to him was difficult. At least he was listening to what she was saying and he wasn't avoiding the topic. She didn't know what to think when he came in without much of a reason as to why, but it wasn't this. Ella should have stopped trying to figure it out because she was always wrong about it anyways. Despite the fact she should have probably just stayed in bed, she didn't. Standing up she walked over to him, almost figuring he'd just turn around and walk away considering the way he was acting.

"Why can't you just give it a chance? What's so bad about that? Maybe you'd get proven wrong."
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Faustus Severio
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"Because it`s me. I used to follow my own rules. Never regret, never turn back... never trust anyone else but yourself. I used to do everything precisely like that, but then... I picked up those divorce papers and I realized that despite everything I`d never be who that man was for you anyway. You tell me you love me, but in the end, even if we get together, you`ll be the one to leave me." Faustus wasn`t sure if she`d understand what he meant. But he was sure that that was true. He was actually being absolutely honest with her and it felt... different.

He watched how she walked up to him. He didn`t move. Didn`t tell her to go away. Because deep inside he realized that he wanted her to stand there. He wanted her to fight for him, because he wanted a proof that she really felt at least something for him. That there was actually a mentally stable person that could feel something else but hatred towards him. Even if he was sure that it wouldn`t work anyway.

Raising his hand softly he brushed his fingers down her cheek. "I don`t want to break this... weird illusion of me in your mind. It`s nice to know that someone out there doesn`t actually hate you." the sad smile appeared on his face again as he placed his hand against her cheek. It felt hot under his palm. "If I`d give it a chance? You`d start hating me like everyone else."

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Ella Morvanna
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"Do you really think some normal, average, whatever term you want to use, guy is going to come around and persuade me that some stupid white picket fence life is a good idea? Because I've been there and done that and it felt nothing like this. This is more real than that could ever be, and I don't want to just sit here and say fine and let you leave. I can't do that. I would regret not saying anything."

Ella listened to what he said and it made sense sure, but she wasn't going to lose whatever it is they had managed to start. It took more effort than she would have liked to actually stand on her tip-toes like that and it probably accounted for why she only kissed him for a short moment, but it was a gesture enough.

"I wouldn't hate you because I could never hate you. I don't want you to leave. I don't want to not be able to see you," she told him. "I couldn't hate you because I love you and I absolutely refuse to just let you walk away."
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Faustus Severio
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Faustus watched her in silence. It was weird how little she looked when they were standing like that. It was weird to figure out that for someone so little he actually got everything screwed up so bad. It didn`t make sense, did it? He would have never seen Ella as a threat. Anyone, but her.

He hated to admit that he liked that small kiss. Well, he told her he liked her, what was there else to lose? Of course he liked her standing there and telling him that she didn`t want to let go. Damn, of course he liked feeling her lips against his, even if it was just for that short second. He liked to feel her. It was obvious now, why he liked sleeping with her so much too.

His fingers picked a strand of hair, that was on her face and tucked it behind her ear. "I`d never like your child, Ella." he said silently. "I`d never love you, because I can`t." maybe he shouldn`t have said all that. Maybe he should have been silent and just kissed her.

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Ella Morvanna
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It was completely unbelievable. Say one thing one minute and another the next. She couldn't be sure what anything meant anymore. She was frustrated and upset and he was only making it worse. It didn't matter then. Everything she had said had been for absolutely nothing.

"You told me at Diagon that if I ever came to see you again that you'd only see me for those few hours. Is that what you mean by you like me? Is that all it is to you?"

He had said that before but now with everything new she wanted the answer again. Maybe it was a different answer and maybe it wasn't.
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Faustus Severio
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Faustus sighed. This was much much harder than he imagined it would be. Slowly he pulled his hand away from her face and let it hang by his side. Then he shook his head. "Do you really think that I`d put so much effort in all this if it was just for sex?" he asked her, frowning a bit. Did she really think he was that shallow? People tend to think that those who are not afraid of death have no feelings. But people are always wrong.

"Even then you were much more than I let you know. Ella, I was trying to protect you. Does it sound like something I`d do?" he wondered, leaning his back on the window and watching her. he even forgot about the child, or the fact that they were in Mungos. He forgot basically everything.

"I also told you then that I didn`t like you... things change. Even though I liked you then. I was just... not ready to admit it." he had no idea how it was going to end anymore. But he didn`t want to know.

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Ella Morvanna
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It was hard to keep up when it sounded like he meant one thing one minute and another the next. It was frustrating and yet she was starting to become less that and more calm about it. She had ranted all she was going to rant; what else could she tell him that wasn't repeating what she said before?

"No."

That much was simple. It was more misunderstanding than anything but it was easy to do so.

"I'm saying everything I can think of to prove to you that I don't care about getting hurt or whatever other reasons you have. You say you like me and yet you're giving every reason imaginable to just leave. I don't know what else I have to say to you anymore to convince you."


It was tiring really. The whole thing was.

"Faustus, please."

Which she wasn't sure what she meant by it. She wanted him to just to see reason about it. Give it a chance and not make up excuses. She was honest at least--she didn't know what else she could say.
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Faustus Severio
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Faustus knew that he was being idiotic that very moment. Why was he trying so hard to convince her about his own feelings? That wasn`t going to change anything. He still had to leave. How was he supposed to explain her that he was scared of feelings? That he didn`t want to have them, because he didn`t want to be weak? That all around him feelings had only brought pain. To himself and to people he cared about. Feelings of love. How, for Merlin`s sake, was he supposed to explain to Ella that he had to run away before he found himself trapped. He just had to.

At last he realized that he wasn`t going to achieve anything in that way. Being honest and actually trying to be as normal about it as possible. But it came clear that he couldn`t, that he wouldn`t. No matter what he still had to hurt her. It was ridiculous.

Straightening up he took a step closer to her. His hand rose up and touched the top of her head. Then silently started sliding down her hair. he didn`t say a word, because he didn`t think that he had to. Instead he simply leaned to her and softly touched her forehead with his lips. It was supposed to be a goodbye, but...

He didn`t want to go.

Pulling an inch back he realized that his eyes were closed. It wasn`t how this was supposed to go. And yet he leant down to her lips that time. It was supposed to be a goodbye. And he hated to do it that way. Soon his lips touched hers as he kissed her. Damn it all. He liked it.

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Ella Morvanna
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Silence was usually never a good thing. There were the few times that had been proved right, but Faustus usually managed to do whatever she least expected. Ella stood there unsure of what he was even up to now, but she felt like if she said anything that single moment where they weren't disagreeing would be ruined. She didn't want him to just turn around and leave and have that be it, so when he kissed her she gladly returned the kiss but with a lot more need for it than he probably would have expected out of it. If words couldn't do it then maybe that could.
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Faustus Severio
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Faustus knew well why he kissed her. And he also knew how hard it would actually be. he wasn`t used to giving up something he liked. And he didn`t want to give up Ella`s lips on his because he enjoyed it. His whole body did, actually. Yet he had to do it. It was the reason he came there and started the whole conversation.

He knew he was being an ass. But there simply was no other way.

While he kissed her his one hand rested on the back of her head, touching her hair. The other one? The other one went into his pocket as he pulled out his wand, carefully, not letting her know about any of it. yes, he was being absolutely horrible. But he had to stop that. He had to stop before he ended up being completely miserable.

He quickly placed the wand against the back of her neck and broke the kiss, pulling only a little bit away, cause their lips were still touching. "I`m so sorry..." he whispered, before murmuring the spell to get rid of the mark on the back of her neck. He knew it was going to hurt. Burn her neck. And that moment? he felt worse than any time before.
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Ella Morvanna
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Ella expected him to turn around and leave or say he hadn't meant it. At least that's what she figured after he apologized, but the next second she let out a shocked cry of pain. When she reeled back a step and saw his wand she realized what had happened and she hated him right then. She hated him for saying everything if it didn't mean anything and for finding some other way to trick her. She didn't think he was sorry. How could she believe that after what he just did?

That group didn't define her or anything, but it was the only thing she did have. She knew in the back of her mind she was part of something and now she wasn't. It gave her a purpose and now she had none. It was the worst feeling she could have felt right then and it went past the pain that he was going to just leave anyways. Stepping forward she pushed him; absolutely furious now.

"Get out! Get out of my room!"


His hat and everything? Ella grabbed it up and all but tossed it at him.

"You're not sorry. If you we're sorry and gave a damn you wouldn't have done it."

Tears were pointless. It was silly. But she was hurt and upset. The combination together resulted in it.
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Faustus Severio
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Faustus knew very well that such act was going to make her mad. And he knew what was she thinking - that he didn`t mean anything he said before, that it was all just to get the mark off, that it was simply a lie... But he knew better than that. He`d never bother so much with someone he didn`t care about. He`d never be so worried around someone he didn`t care about.

When he snapped out of it, he found himself standing with his hat and his coat in his hands, but his eyes were stuck on her. Somehow it hurt to see all that hate in her eyes. He knew it would be like that and yet it was very unpleasant.

He heard her yelling, but didn`t answer. Maybe he should have, but he couldn`t. All what he could do was stand and watch her. It all came true, everything he said. He hurt her and she hated him. He knew it would happen, he just didn`t know it would happen so soon. The tears on her face didn`t help at all.

A voice inside his head told him to turn around and leave. But he couldn`t move.
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Ella Morvanna
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If she wasn't so upset she probably wouldn't have yelled. As was usual she'd probably regret it later, It was all so frustrating, and then to take the mark away in the manner that he did?

"Sorry."

It was stupid to apologize. She didn't even have anything to apologize for when it could be understandable she was upset. Despite wanting him to leave after what he did, she realized as soon as he had she'd regret saying it. She doubted there was a way to see him now that the mark was gone and there was no way in the house. Well then, he got exactly what he wanted. Ella shook her head as she took a step back and sat down on the bed.

"I was really hoping you'd just...change your mind and forget about leaving and....it doesn't really matter now anyways. You got what you wanted--there's no way I can see you after you leave."
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Faustus Severio
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Faustus tried to listen to what she was saying, but it didn`t seem important. What was important, that had already happened. Slowly and not saying a word he put the cloak on and held the hat in his hands. He was thinking, what would be the right words to express all what he had to say? Probably there really weren`t.

One last glance at Ella. He knew he had to leave. "See? I was right. I did hurt you. And you did hate me." he said silently, not knowing if he wanted to hear anything else what she had to say. He had to end it all. Had been putting it away for far too long already. "And this? This isn`t exactly what I wanted." he added after a bit. This was a necessity. If he`d listen to his wishes... everything would have been much different.

He pulled his eyes away and put the hat on. Leaving always took ages if you didn`t really want to leave. He walked to the door and pulled his wand out. His hand was on the handle, but he didn`t move. Instead, he took a deep breath in. "Ella... I meant every single word I said... but this just won`t happen..." he closed his eyes for a short bit.

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Ella Morvanna
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"I can be mad at you and not hate you. How else do you expect me to react after what you just did?"

It just wasn't bloody fair. Someone else had done this to her before. Some leave before it got too much or something. She didn't like remembering that and she would have rather it never happened again and yet she was in the middle of it. Scooting back she sat on the middle of the bed for the sole purpose of tightly pulling her knees up to her chest. Maybe if she held herself together like that she wouldn't cry more than she already was, or maybe she wouldn't just fall to pieces over it all once he did leave.

"I probably should hate you for doing this but you're so....you're something where I can't manage to hate you. I hate what you're doing, but not you. I'm mad at you if anything. I keep talking thinking maybe I'll say something that makes you just forget leaving or just delays it even more. I probably sound so stupid right now, but I don't want you to leave."


She wasn't going to repeat all she said before because he already heard it. It didn't make a difference then and it probably wouldn't now.

"I just want you to give it a chance instead of avoiding it and walking away."
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Faustus Severio
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Faustus wasn`t even sure why he hadn`t left yet. He could, he had to, but he hadn`t. It annoyed him, the fact that he was running away from something he wished he had. But it only took him a second to remember why he was doing it all - to protect himself. Not to have any weaknesses. To actually escape one thing that seemed to be ruining everyone else. Everyone got screwed up by feelings. Even the Dark Lord. Faustus knew how harmful love could be. Knew way too well to allow it.

"Nothing you could say would change my mind." he said in the same silent voice. At least he hoped so. Even if some part of him wanted to turn around and go to her, forget all those things he pretended to believe in.

He realized that he was gripping the handle of the door so hard his whole hand was in pain. "A chance?" he repeated and smiled sadly to himself. "Maybe someday." he didn`t meant what he said. He wanted it, but didn`t think that it would happen.

Most of all he felt bad for her. That he screwed up her like that. He really didn`t feel good about any of it. And he couldn`t linger any more. It was only going to be worse.

"Goodbye, Ella." he felt weird saying that. Like it almost hurt. But instead he just unlocked the door and walked out, not looked back, not wanting to see her face when he closed the door.

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Ella Morvanna
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Ella didn't bother to watch him go or say anything. Nothing she said had done any good so she doubted it would now. Once he was out the door she got up and locked it simply so none of the acolytes would come in. Any one of them would tell her she shouldn't leave so soon but she was. She wanted out of that place. She wasn't going home either and she wasn't telling anyone. After getting dressed, despite jeans not being the most comfortable thing to wear right then, she quickly pulled on her jacket and her shoes and then went and picked up Juliette; She had all but neglected her when she was talking to Faustus and she did feel bad for that, but Juls had slept most of that time to begin with.

"We didn't start off so well did we? I'm sorry. We're going to go somewhere where no one's going to find us for a little bit. You'll like Eileen anyways, and I'm sure she'll love you just the same."


Remembering something though she put Juliette down again just for a minute as she took her wand out of the back pocket of her jeans she left it in. Honestly it was Faustus that had made her nearly decide giving up on magic was a bad idea, but now? Ella snapped it in two over her knee before dropping the two pieces on the floor and leaving them there as she picked up Jus again; this time making sure her blanket was securely around her to keep her warm and safe before disapparting.
Edited by Ella Morvanna, Sep 7 2009, 05:39 PM.
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